Sookie Stackhouse and Stephanie Plum Commiserate
by Rangersalad
Summary: What would happen if Sookie Stackhouse (from True Blood) and Stephanie Plum (from the Janet Evanovich novels) sat down next to each other at a bar and began to commiserate about their men-problems. I thought these two might have a lot to say to each other and couldn't find any crossover to help me out so I had to write it myself to find out what happens.
1. The meeting

Characters remain the property of their creators, Ms. Harris and Ms. Evanovich, I just thought the two main characters should meet. I'm strictly a Babe & Northman fan, so fair warning if I choose to add more chapters that is likely where it will head. My first attempt at fan fiction and I've only read one Sookie Stackhouse novel and a little of its fanfic so I apologize if the voice or writing is not as good as I would like. If anyone would like to beta or has ideas where this should go, please let me know in the reviews.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Sookie ambled into the bar and threw her purse beneath a bar stool. She pulled her blond hair back in a ponytail and folded one leg underneath her. She was tired and sore from the long drive and was thankful there were only a few people in the bar to block out of her mind. The stress of driving all day, combined with the large number of strangers' thoughts she had had to put up with on the trip had given her a headache and she was looking forward to drowning herself in drink for the evening.

_Must be my lucky night to have two hot single chicks at my bar tonight… maybe we can get some threesome action going on, _ the bartender thought as he slid a napkin in front of her. "Beautiful lady, what can I get for ya?" he said, his thick New Jersey accent nearly making her laugh despite the sour taste his thoughts had left her with.

"Gin and tonic," she replied coolly.

_Thank God, maybe he'll stop hitting on me now, _Sookie heard from someone further down the bar. She looked up to see a curly-headed brunette woman knocking back a shot. The woman put the glass down and caught Sookie looking at her. She looked briefly at the bartender then back at Sookie and rolled her eyes. Sookie smiled. The woman gave a finger wave. _Allied forces,_ the woman thought.

Thinking the woman might be right and there might be strength in numbers Sookie slid off her stool, grabbed her purse and moved to a stool two down from the other woman.

"Stephanie Plum," said the woman, a large smile on her face, her hand extended.

"Sookie Stackhouse," she said, grasping the woman's hand.

Stephanie gasped, "That is the cutest accent ever, where are you from?"

"Louisiana."

"God, what I wouldn't give for your tan and the sunshine that gave it to you. What on earth are you doing in Jersey in the middle of the winter?"

Sookie paused but didn't hear any further thoughts coming from the woman, only the drone of the rest of the room's thoughts and a couple of lewd thoughts radiating from the bartender. "Just running away from my problems for a little bit."

"Denial, my favorite method…" said Stephanie.

Sookie raised an eyebrow.

_How did she?..._Stephanie gasped and covered her mouth, "Oh God, I'm sorry, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Sookie smiled brightly, "It's kind of refreshing, not many people say what they're thinking… Is that a New Jersey thing?"

"No… Oh, my gosh no. No, that's just my mouth. It has no censor."

"Shame, I was kind of hoping you'd say everyone was that way here."

Stephanie looked up at the bartender, pointed to her glass and held up two fingers then turned back to Sookie. "I wish. Nope, I can't figure out half of what people around me are really thinking and yet they can hear every thought in my head." _Damn Ranger and his stupid ESP._

Sookie tried to keep a blank face as she wondered what or who this other person with ESP was to Stephanie. "So are you running away from something or someone at the bar this evening?"

"Definitely."

"What's his name?" Sookie said, smiling and fingering the shot glass the bartender had set in front of her.

_Which one? _thought Stephanie.

Sookie laughed then cut herself short, hoping Stephanie didn't notice the invasion of her thoughts. A long moment passed as they both thought of their own pair of problems. Sookie let out a long sigh… "Men suck." She smirked and rolled her eyes thinking of the two vampires that had caused her to drive three days straight from Louisiana to New Jersey, spending her nights in which ever hotel she could find with the fewest people.

"True, and yet I seem to need them far too often." said Stephanie, throwing back the next shot.

"So what is this drink?" Sookie said suspiciously. "It smells like rum and fruit and something else but I can't tell what."

"Good nose."

Sookie shrugged, "Waitress."

"Ah…" Stephanie nodded, "It's called a 'Blue Hawaii.' Technically it's a cocktail but it seems I can't really handle having something so wonderful and actually enjoying it for very long so I have Marty…" she nodded towards the bartender, "put it in shot glasses for me."

Sookie took a sip. "It _is_ really tasty. What's in it?"

"Vodka, light rum, sweet and sour mix, pineapple juice and blue curacao." Stephanie rattled off, tipping her nearly empty glass back to let one last drop hit her tongue.

"Sweet and sour, plus pinapple juice… yeah, somehow that seems just about right for a man-problem drink."

_Freakin' man of mystery… _Stephanie muttered in her head.

Sookie took a large swallow of her drink and tried to drown out the bartenders thoughts as he stared at her in the mirror over the bar. "I've got a two-man problem. I might need another one of these."

Stephanie laughed, "I like your logic, and Marty usually makes enough to fill a pitcher when I come in looking like this. Then he just serves them in the tiny glasses so I can shoot them and he can charge me more. I've got a two-man problem too so I've been in here a lot lately."

"In that case the next round is on me." Sookie said with a smile.

"I like you…" Stephanie said, raising her glass in the air. "To drowning our sorrows and denying our problems!"

"Cheers" Sookie said, raising her glass. They clicked glasses and both drank their shots in a single long gulp. Marty moved into action pouring two more.

"Sooo…Do yours know about each other?" Stephanie asked, her words slightly slurred.

"Unfortunately... And they go all macho-like with each other when I'm around. It's so frustrating."

"I know…" Stephanie slammed her hand down on the bar then jumped a bit at the loud sound. "And every time something goes wrong they get all protective."

"Totally."

"And Joe just wants me to be his and a good little wifey…" Stephanie trailed off.

"The first time Bill introduced me to someone he immediately declared I was '_his'… _how territorial is that?"

"Ughh… I know. Like they can just mark us as property! Ranger told people I was _'his woman' _even though he won't have a relationship with me. Ridiculous!"

"Right? And Eric is all cold and distant and scary and then tries to seduce me and convince me to leave Bill."

"And Ranger…" Stephanie's eyes glazed over for a minute before she continued. "Does all these things to make me… and then just walks away like nothing affects him." She turned and looked Sookie in the eyes, grabbing Sookie by the shoulders. "You can trust them with your life, sure, but you can't trust them with your heart, can you?"

Sookie put her head down on her arms. "You really can't."

Stephanie suddenly stood up and her head snapped towards the door. Sookie looked at Stephanie even as she heard the rushing onslaught of thoughts from the group of men entering the bar. _Get him. Guns. Money. Quick score. Grab the girls. _Sookie grabbed Stephanie's arm and yanked her towards the back of the bar. _Oh great, just what I need tonight, another reason for Ranger and Joe to think I need protection, _Stephanie thought. Sookie gave her a questioning look and pulled her down behind a table.

"They're here to rob the place," Sookie whispered.

"There's no back door to this place." Stephanie said, still slurring her words a bit. "Did a distraction here once and Ranger was happy we only had to cover one exit." She smirked, "There is however a disgusting ladies room at the back." Sookie nodded and they began crawling.

_Stupid disgusting peanut shells. How long has it been since they swept? The one time I get to wear a skirt and now I'm going to have peanut shells imbedded in my kneecaps. _Stephanie wordlessly ranted as the two women crawled towards the ladies room, sticking to the darkness closest the back wall. Sookie smiled at her new companion's thoughts, amused that she was thinking of such mundane things while men with guns took over the bar.

They reached the bathroom and pushed through the door. Stephanie stood up and locked it behind them. Sookie stood up and looked around her. "I think you over-sold it," she whispered to Stephanie.

_Can't believe I let Ranger make out with me in here. I'm lucky I didn't catch a disease, _Stephanie thought in return.

Sookie gasped as she heard clearly, _Where did those little chickies go? I wanna have some fun! _She reached out and grabbed Stephanie's hand just before the door burst open and large, strong, hands grabbed her around her waist.

_Why me? _thought Stephanie as Sookie saw the large figure swing something at her and felt a sharp pain in her head as the lights went out.


	2. Just Another Kidnapping

This is my first fanfiction and I don't own the characters, they belong to Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich. I'm just making the introductions. Thank you all so much for the reviews, pms, and favorites, it's really inspiring me to write more.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo

Sookie woke slowly, a cold shiver causing her body to tense up. She felt a throbbing in her head and went to reach for it but found her hands were bound. She flexed her legs and wiggled her back. She seemed to be in a chair, her hands tied behind her back. Her chest, hips, knees and ankles were all affixed to the chair. She listened around her but couldn't make out any clear voices or thoughts, only a murmuring of disconnected thoughts. She slowly opened her eyes, but found her right one was swollen and would only open to a slit. She blinked rapidly through the rough and scratchy pain, and felt tears gather at the corner of her eyes. Her vision blurred. She closed her right eye and peered around the room with her left. She took in everything on her left side: a pair of dressers, a small pile of rags, and an empty fireplace with no mantle, and then turned her head so she could see the rest of the room. Her head throbbed as she moved and her vision swung out of focus and then back. As it cleared she saw Stephanie strapped down to a chair a few feet to her right, the rest of the room empty save for an old metal filing cabinet only two drawers high sitting in the corner. A small window streamed dirty sunlight onto the floor.

Stephanie was wearing an oversized t-shirt and grungy men's tan work pants that looked so big that they likely were only staying on because she was tied to the chair. Sookie looked down at her own clothing but it seemed to be the same outfit as she wore the previous night. She frowned thinking what that might mean about what had happened to Stephanie. She looked at Stephanie's face but saw only a bruise the size of a quarter on her temple, with a small trickle of dried blood, as any signs of abuse.  
She listened carefully trying to pick up Stephanie's thoughts.

_No. When Ranger finds you… Not coming… but he always…like the Wizard…the great and powerful…_The disjointed pieces of Stephanie's dream didn't make much sense but she seemed upset and Sookie noticed a thin sheen of sweat on Stephanie's face. "Stephanie?" she whispered. "Stephanie, you need to wake up."

"No," mumbled Stephanie, _Just ten more minutes… It's the weekend and I don't want to go running._

Sookie struggled with the binding on her wrists, trying to focus her energy on breaking them but only felt the searing sting as the ropes cut into her skin. She thought back and realized she hadn't had any vampire blood since before her disappearance and wondered if that meant it had been days or over a year. "Can't count on them coming to heal me anytime soon if they haven't found me yet," she murmured to herself, releasing the tension she had on her bindings.

"Stephanie, we need to get out of here." Sookie said, realizing with a shiver just how cold she was. She looked down and saw her feet bare and touching a cold concrete floor.

"Fine," said Stephanie, still not moving. _So heartless… like the Tinman...no wait, the Tinman was nice…_

"Open your eyes hon, we're not in Kansas anymore."

_Didn't she say Louisiana? Oh to be in the sunshine right now….But no, I'm stuck in this cold…_ Stephanie lifted her head quickly then winced, inhaling quickly. Her eyes snapped open and she looked straight at Sookie. She paused for a moment, turned her head left and right. "Kidnapped?"

"Looks that way, " Sookie replied.

"Holy crap it's cold in here." Stephanie continued taking in the room. "Are you okay?" _Cause your eye looks awful._

_"_My eye hurts and my head is throbbing, but I think I'm alright." Sookie looked over Stephanie's clothing again, "What do you remember?"

"Not much, they knocked you out then hit my head on the wall and injected me with something." Steph looked down at her clothes and the straps that bound her to the chair then looked over at Sookie. "I'm _so_ sorry about this." _God, I meet a nice person in a bar and now whoever those creeps are had to go and kidnap her too!_

"What do you mean? You can't think this is your fault." Sookie tilted her head to the side as if looking for a different perspective.

"Yeah, well, these things just sort of happen to me." _But I swear it's not my fault… still, YOU shouldn't be here._

"Believe it or not it's not my first time being taken hostage either." Sookie replied, shrugging.

Stephanie's eyebrows shot up, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, well it's a long story."

Stephanie giggled and looked around the room. "Don't think we're going anywhere soon." She tried pulling one-by-one on her restraints and then shifting her chair. "Hmm… that doesn't seem to be working. But yours might."

Sookie looked at the ropes holding her in place and realized it was more like the kind of cord people used on clothes lines. Stephanie was bound with proper straps. "I've already tried, they're pretty tight. What makes you think I'd have a better chance?"

"I think they were only prepared to take me and had to make do with what they had for you." Stephanie said, looking apologetic.

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, they knocked you out but gave me an injection. The straps I'm bound with were obviously designed for this purpose and they must have bought them in advance, but there's only one set you're tied up with something different… Plus you just rolled into town; I doubt anyone could be looking for you yet. Meanwhile I was hanging out in a skeezy bar that I've been known to go to when I have a bad day."

Sookie paused and looked hard at Stephanie, pausing for a moment before replying, "It makes sense… but you're wrong about people looking for me. I have a feeling two people have been looking for me and possibly following me for days. Although, obviously, they haven't found me yet." _It wasn't even halfway through the night when those guys entered the bar…if Eric or Bill had been near…_

Stephanie managed a small smile, "Your _man_ problems?"

"If only it were that simple."

Steph's eyes grew a little wider, _women? _ "But… I'm pretty sure those were men's names you were using last night."

"Oh, no, they're men, they just… they're not _just _men, and they're not my only problems."

Stephanie's mind flashed quickly with an image of Ranger and his specially trained men, her various stalkers and exploding cars, and then settled solidly on an image of Diesel. _Unmentionables? _

Sookie looked at Stephanie with her one good eye and waited for another thought that would explain what an 'unmentionable' was or anything to explain the thoughts that had just run through her mind, but found nothing more. She shrugged slightly, "I guess there's not much harm in telling you now. Though if you all are much like the folks back in Bon Temps you might change your mind about whose fault this is…" She took a deep breath, "My man problems are with two overly territorial vampires who both want me for their own. And a whole lot of other folks who seem to cause problems around me too. It's like I just attract problems without even tryin'."

Stephanie's mind ran through what she had just heard then her mouth dropped open slightly. "Wait, you know real vampires?"

Sookie shook her head, "Well sure, I mean I didn't know them before they came out, but then Bill moved back into Bon Temps and… then I met some other vampires. And now it seems I can't get away from 'em."

"I know they've been out for years, but not only is it too cold here for their tastes most of the year, but Trenton just kind of sucks, so I guess none of them wanted to live here 'cause I've never even seen one… You know, except for on television."

"Huh," shrugged Sookie. "I thought they were everywhere."

"Well if they're here they're doing a good job of keeping quiet. I mean I'm a bounty hunter and if they were here, surely some of them would be getting in trouble, and if they did I'm pretty sure I'd know. God knows I see all the rest of the freaks and crazies."

Sookie just stared.

"Oh. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, I'm not saying your… your boyfriends or whatever are freaks or crazies, I just…" _Aww, crap, why can't I keep my mouth shut. We were just starting to become friends and then I…huh, making friends while kidnapped…why is my life so weird?_

"No, no, it's okay," said Sookie. "You might be right. I'm just surprised you're a bounty hunter…You just… I wouldn't have guessed."

"Yeah, I know. And honestly I'm not a very _good_ bounty hunter. That would be Ranger. He's like the perfect bounty hunter. But he helps me sometimes, so I get by with his help and more dumb luck than anyone should have."

"Dumb luck?"

"Well, I have really good instincts I guess. I get a gut feeling about things. My own little 'Spidey Sense' about where someone might be or when bad things are going to happen. Not that that keeps me from wading right into the middle of it and…" She smirked and looked around the room, "Doing things like getting myself kidnapped." She sighed loudly, "Still, it's helped me find everyone from flashers to killers."

"So it's like ESP?"

"No, I can't read minds, I just get a funny feeling. It's kind of like the tingle I get when Ranger comes near, but it's a bad tingle instead."

"You get a tingle when Ranger comes near?"

Stephanie blushed slightly, "Yeah, it's weird, huh?"

"Not that weird."

"Oh yeah? You have tingles with your vampires?"

"No, but they can sense when _I'm_ in danger."

"So you think they're coming for you right now?

"No, by the sun coming through that window I'd say it isn't even noon yet. Wherever they are they've gone to ground for the day. And if they were close enough last night and knew where I was…" Sookie trailed off.

"Oh, right. Vampires… daylight. I forgot." Stephanie looked back at the window, "But Batman should be looking for me by now; we were supposed to go running this morning."

"Batman?"

"Oh, Ranger… he dresses in black, hardly talks, man of mystery and all that… and he saves me all the time so he's my Dark Knight, my Batman. Well…not really _my…_" She shrugged, "just something me and my girlfriends and I call him when he's not around." _Hmm…MY Batman…_

Sookie smiled, outside of vampires she didn't get to have many conversations with people without hearing contrasting thoughts in their heads. Stephanie's might be private, but they didn't contrast what she was saying. Plus she had an irritating attraction to a certain dark and silent man herself. "And when he _is around? _What do you call him then?"

"Ranger."

"That's his name? Really?" She smiled, "I mean my name's Sookie, so who am I to judge, right?"

"No, his name is Carlos Ricardo Manoso. But so far as I know no one calls him that. He was in the Army Rangers and everyone just calls him Ranger."

"And you think he'll be able to find us?"

"Well he puts trackers in my clothes and purse a lot, but…" she nodded towards her clothes, "obviously they're not on me now, and I'm guessing whoever switched out my clothes but not yours figured that out and took them for that reason. So it'll be a bit harder."

"Oh…" Sookie's face fell a bit.

"But he's always managed to find me before."

"Might be a while," Sookie said. "Mine might make it here first."

"Oh…" Stephanie shifted as much as the straps would allow in her seat. _I can't ask, she… well it's just rude is all._

"Oh?" Sookie asked.

"It's just, I don't want to make assumptions. I just… being tied up in a room with vampires… Is it safe?"

"I won't let them hurt you." Sookie said defiantly, trying to open her right eye again to make clear eye contact.

"And they'll listen to you? They don't hurt your friends?"

Sookie shifted this time. "I won't let them," she replied with slightly less conviction. "And if Ranger gets here first?"

"Or Joe… I mean, it's not often, but Joe is a cop, so he could…" Stephanie mumbled.

"So if they got here first."

"If they got here first our kidnappers, whoever they are, are in for a world of hurt."

Sookie looked down at her bare feet. "Based on my experience, they should hope for yours, they're dead if Bill or Eric get here first."

"They should hope for Joe…He's the only one likely to follow any laws." Stephanie looked over at Sookie, the silence stretching out. _How does she do it?… I mean I guess Ranger has killed for me, and I've shot people in self-defense, but to know someone IS a killer. I wonder if she's seen them do it? She looks so normal._

"I am normal," Sookie replied.

Stephanie's head snapped up, "I… I _know_ I didn't say that out loud."

Sookie blushed. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't trying to… you just think so loudly."

"Think loudly? _Think_ loudly?"

Sookie winced as Stephanie's voice pierced the air and made her acutely aware of the throbbing in her head.

Suddenly they heard a door slam. It wasn't nearby, but it must have been in the same building as the noise seemed to reverberate through the walls of their room.

_Saved by the bell…er… door, _Stephanie thought, shooting a glance at Sookie.

Sookie chuckled as Stephanie looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

_Can you read my thoughts now? _

Sookie looked up at her and gave a slight nod of her head.

_What about whoever is out there?_

Sookie concentrated, her brow wrinkling. _Acting as a freakin' babysitter… Maybe I should go take a peek… don't care what they said… have a little fun… _

Sookie nodded at Stephanie then frowned and whispered, "Just one guy… hasn't decided if he's coming to see us yet."

_Freakin' ESP, what do I get? A stupid tingle and usually when it's already too late. _

Somewhere in the distance a car door slammed and the sound of several men arguing filtered through the house as a dull rumble. _Uh, oh…you know that bad tingle I mentioned? It's off the charts right now. Now might be a good time to check those bindings._

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo_

__Please let me know what you think. I've really enjoyed the reviews so far and the ideas from other fans of these two worlds.


	3. V is Very, Very, Extraordinary

This is my first fanfiction and I don't own the characters, they belong to Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich. I'm just making the introductions. Thank you all so much for the reviews, pms, and favorites, it's really inspiring me to write more.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sookie pulled at the bindings on her wrists. There was some give, but each movement roughly sawed at her skin and she could feel the burning as it cut in. Muffled male voices could still be heard overhead, but no words could be made out and she focused on her bindings and the room around her.

_Try to get the ropes off that are around the back of your chair… They look like they're all connected. _Stephanie nodded her head, shifting up one shoulder then the other in an imitation of the move she described in her head.

Sookie shifted to one side, lengthening her spine as much as she could to pull the ropes up. She felt them shift a centimeter on her left. She repeated on her right and the rope moved a small amount again. She felt the rope get tighter as it moved to a thicker part of the chair. She blew out as much air as she could and shifted again. One of the several strands popped over the top edge of the chair. Four more repeats and some chafing under her breasts and the ropes were off the chair though still wrapped around her chest.

_Pull on your wrists now._

Sookie pulled her wrists away from the back of the chair and felt that they were no longer attached as tightly to the back of the seat. She worked on her right wrist, moving it in small circles then tugging upward, feeling the looseness work its way down through the multiple wraps around her wrists. The sound of footsteps drawing closer overhead gave her pause and she stopped to listen for the thoughts of those above. Voices grew louder but still blended and muffled inscrutably.

_When he shows up we'll be able to get rid of our problems once and for all. I've never felt so fuckin' invincible. Oh God, I need more! It feels so good; I don't want it to stop! Once we off him__ we'll be able to move as much V as we want and we'll have the power to be freakin' GODS!_

Sookie shook her head trying to block out the thoughts. She stared at Stephanie and whispered, "It's not good," her eyes indicating the ceiling above them. "They're on V."

_What's V?_

"Vampire blood… makes them kind of high, but erratic... and stronger too."

_No way, I've never heard of it. The mob controls most drug sales around here and between Ranger and Joe I hear about most new stuff._

"Sounds like these guys want to bring it into the market. They seem to think getting rid of your man will do the trick." Sookie hissed.

_Crap._

Sookie began working on her ropes again, feeling her right wrist, though now stinging, sore, and slightly sticky with blood, beginning to slip free. She had it about halfway out when the sound of a door being opened echoed through the room.

Footsteps descended down wooden steps. There were heavy feet and there were multiple sets.

"You think we could play with them a bit before he shows up?"

"Shut up idiot, we stick to the plan. No need getting some sort of vendetta energy goin' on. He needs to think it's just a kidnapping or he won't be predictable."

"Aww…come on, he doesn't have to know. And he'll be dead before he'd ever find out. 'Sides, you ever had a woman while on V? It's like heaven man. Ten, naw… A hundred times better. And I bet the struggle would make it even better."

"We stick to the plan. The boss wouldn't be happy to find out you even thought about changin' it."

"He don't need to know neither."

"He'd know. You know he'd know."

"Fuck."

"Now let's get our evidence and get out of here." A man said, his voice growing louder as he reached the bottom of the steps and swung open the wooden door both girls faced. His wiry frame was emphasized by tight, black jeans and a leather coat that hung off boney, wide shoulders. As he approached Sookie took in his slicked-back, greasy hair and pock-marked face and wondered about his age. Late 20's? Early 30's?

Another man, or maybe boy, appeared behind him, similarly attired with a tense, energetic nervousness that was emphasized by hands either fueled by V or by adrenaline that tapped out a fast pace on both thighs. His hair was lighter, but similarly slicked back. "What about the blond, Johnny, he don't care about her, right? Can't we have some fun with her?" He walked over and stood behind Sookie and started stroking her hair with greasy hands.

Sookie could sense the rage in Stephanie even if it wasn't in words. She wondered if the men appearing before her could sense it too.

"Who are you? What do you want? If it's me then just leave her alone." Stephanie spat out, as a third man emerged. Sookie looked at the third man. He appeared more withdrawn than the other two and without the restless energy she saw in them.

"Don't you worry about it Sweet Cheeks… or do you prefer Bombshell?" Johnny said, his face a sneer.

"Listen… _Johnny_," Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just let me talk to whoever you're working for so we can get this over with?" Stephanie looked over at Sookie, who looked disgusted with the attention the second man was paying to her hair. _I'm so sorry, we'll get out of this, I swear._

"We're not ready for that part yet Sweet Cheeks." Johnny said, pulling a large switchblade out of a holster on his hip and flipping it open. "First we need a little something to convince your boyfriend that he should take us seriously."

_Oh, Crap! _

_"_I'm sure he'll take you seriously… He's a serious guy. No need to do anything dramatic." Stephanie managed to get out with hardly a crack or waver in her voice despite the running thought of _crap, crap, crapity, crap, crap_ rushing through the back of her mind.

"He's been holding off the V trade for far too long and it's time he backed off and let commerce have its way." Johnny said approaching her.

"I'm sure Joe's just doing his job… if he doesn't do it another cop will. I don't see how you can blame him."

The man paused and turned to the third man. "What the fuck!" he shouted, approaching the man, "You told me she was Manoso's woman!"

The third man cowered, sinking back towards the stairs. "Streets say Manoso claims her as his… says not to mess with her. I don't know about no cop!"

Johnny turned back, drawing the knife to Stephanie's throat. "Are you Manoso's woman or not?"

_Seriously?!… HIS WOMAN? And Ranger now will never let me forget that I was in danger because of him. Damnit! _

"I don't _belong_ to anyone." Stephanie shouted, her eyes giving him a death glare.

The second guy's fingers were now stroking Sookie's hair roughly, yanking her head back with each stroke. "Shit man, just get the evidence and let's go. Follow the boss's plan, not our fault if he told us to grab the wrong girl, right?"

Flipping the knife backwards in his hand, Johnny grabbed Steph by the hair roughly and shoved his face in front of hers.

_Eww… ever heard of Clearasil buddy?_

"You'd better be worth it bitch!" He said, slicing off the chunk of her hair in his fist and stomping out the door.

_Not again..._ _Mr. Alexander will have a fit._

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo _

Both women sat silently as the men's footsteps retreated and a single pair returned. The third man appeared in the doorway meekly poking his head around the door and peering at the women. He entered the room holding a can of Ensure in each hand.

"Um.. I'm supposed to feed you." He stuttered nervously.

Sookie looked over at Steph who merely raised both eyebrows.

"And what if I don't wanna drink any of that crap?" Sookie said defiantly.

"Uh… well, it's all I've got." he murmured. He seemed to straighten slightly and try to say more forcefully, "So you'll just have to drink it."

"Listen… uh… Gomer. You mind iffen I call you Gomer? 'Cause I don't know your name, and you seem like a Gomer-type guy to me. Listen Gomer, I got hit on the head, my eye is swollen and I have a hell of a headache, so I'm not really feeling like doing what you ask, you understand?

Stephanie smirked behind Gomer's back. "Gomer she's really not going to cooperate." _You think you can get out of your ropes if I buy you some time?_

Sookie tried her ropes again…they were looser but they were still pretty well wrapped. "It would take time" she said looking at Stephanie. Gomer looked back at her. "To try to get us to cooperate," she added.

"Besides Gomer," added Stephanie. "How are you going to feed us?"

Gomer looked at the cans, and popped open the top on the first one, holding it out to Stephanie.

Stephanie's brow knit together. "Gomer... My hands are tied. How am I going to hold it?"

Gomer walked towards her and held the can to her lips. As he tilted it she got a small sip in her mouth as a large splash ran down her front. Her shirt molded to her as the wet drink soaked into her shirt. Gomer looked down and swallowed loudly.

_They had to take my bra too, huh? Well, might as well see if we can make this work in our favor. _Steph winked at Sookie as Gomer continued to stare at her breast.

"Gomer, it's _obviously _too cold in here to be having a wet t-shirt contest. Can't you just release one of my hands so I can drink?"

"Robert."

"What?"

"It's not Gomer…My name is Robert."

"Okay, Bob…" Stephanie snickered. _Bob is the dog's name. _"Do you think we could find some way for me to drink that without me freezing to death and losing a nipple?"

Bob's face reddened. Sookie giggled and Bob turned back towards her."But if I untie you, you might try to escape."

"Maybe you could just untie one of our hands Bob." Sookie said, nodding and smiling enthusiastically despite the throbbing in her head.

"I don't know… then you might try to untie yourself."

"Work with us here Bob, we haven't eaten since yesterday, and while I could eat a Boston Crème hands-free, there's no way I can do it with your can of Ensure." Stephanie replied.

"I_ am _really hungry," Sookie added.

_God, this guy is an idiot, I think he's going to fall for it. _Stephanie smiled over Bob's shoulder as he examined her ropes.

_Johnny will kill me if they get away. Put them in the bathroom maybe… there aren't any windows at least. But I'd have to move them first…_Bob's thoughts rambled away with various options, none of them particularly brilliant.

Bob stood up and walked to the back of Steph's chair he grabbed hold, tilted her back and then dragged the chair to the door of the room.

"Where we goin' Bob?"

"Bathroom."

"No thanks, I don't really need to go right now. I'm mostly hungry."

Bob did not reply and Sookie could hear the repeated thumps of the chair as he dragged Stephanie and her chair up each step then down a hallway. He returned a minute later and began repeating the procedure with Sookie.

Once in the bathroom he produced a sharp knife and began hacking the bindings on Sookie's right hand, apparently unaware of any loosening she had already done. He grabbed tightly onto her wrist as it was released and quickly slapped a handcuff on it. He attached the other end to a handicap rail on the far side of the bathtub.

"Bob, hun' that really pulls. And I still won't be able to drink my Ensure with my hand all that ways away." Sookie complained lightly, hoping to be released.

Bob snuffed, "Looks like you been hurtin' your own wrist by struggling against them ropes, you can suffer a little bit longer." He turned away from Sookie and began releasing the bindings on Stephanie's left hand, fastening a handcuff on her wrist before even removing the binding. He immediately pulled her hand over and attached it to the same bar Sookie hung from. He then set about cutting the ropes on Sookie's left ankle, right ankle, then body. He finished with her left hand and shoved a can of Ensure into it.

"You can drink that and then release your friend. I'll be back with the other can." He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Stephanie snorted. At_ least this time I have clothes._

"What?"

"In my head again?"

"Sorry."

"It's not that I mind, I guess… it's just weird to have someone hear every little thing."

"So can you explain about the 'Not again... Mr. Alexander will have a fit.' and 'at least this time I have clothes'? Because not many people have thoughts like you when being kidnapped and terrorized. Trust me, I know."

Stephanie laughed out loud, her laugh echoing in the small bathroom. Sookie set the can of Ensure down in the bottom of the tub and began to undo the rest of Steph's bindings.

"So when I first got started bounty hunting I was supposed to bring in Joe."

"Joe your boyfriend?"

"Uh… sometimes… but at that time he was just the guy who I had lost my virginity to, had run over with a car, and with whom I had a bizarre history…Anyhow he was up for a bogus murder charge and was my first FTA as a bounty hunter."

Sookie shook her head in disbelief.

"I know… so anyhow I had kind of commandeered his car because mine got blown up and I hoped I could flush him out. He didn't like that I stole his car and showed up in my apartment while I was in the shower. He kind of handcuffed me naked to the shower rod and left me there."

"And you ended up dating him."

"Love is weird."

"I know that much. Can't choose who you love."

"Too true."

"So how did you get out of the cuffs that time?" Sookie said, looking at their matching bracelets.

"Called Ranger."

"He was you boyfriend at the time?"

"No… I hardly knew him."

Sookie's mouth fell open slightly.

"Stop, I know, but it was either him or my parents or the police, and I'd never hear the end of it from my mother and I didn't want the neighbors and the whole Trenton PD seeing me naked."

"Wow. So… did he try anything? Was it hot? You all naked and handcuffed…"

"He was kind of professional about it really."

"Professional? No moves, no innuendoes at all?"

"Oh no, Ranger is the master of subtle comments. I think he said something along the lines of 'I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.' And then got the key, unlocked me and asked if I had something kinky going on with Morelli. He handed me a towel, we talked a bit more then he left. Didn't try a thing."

"Ah, the old flirt then withdraw. Hate that. So frustrating!"

"Exactly!"

"And who is this 'Mr. Alexander? ' You have a third man in your life?"

"Ha… No, he's my hairstylist."

"Ah…" Sookie nodded, looking at the short lock of hair where Johnny had lopped off some curls.

Bob returned and set the second can of Ensure inside the door, then closed it. A lock slid into place on the outside.

"So how does your ESP work? You see what I'm thinking?'

"Hear mostly. Sometimes some images."

"What about memories?"

"They're harder, your thoughts about the memories are usually more clear than the memories themselves."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I was going to tell you about the last time my hair got cut off by a psycho but it's a complicated story and mixed in with a lot of other stuff. I almost wish you could see my memories and tell me if I remember it right."

"Why is that?"

"Because Ranger is confusing."

Sookie smiled. "Once again, we've got time. I see even less chance of us going anywhere than before. Unless you happen to have a handcuff key."

Stephanie searched the pockets of the huge men's work pants but turned up only a disgustingly gross pocket full of lint and dirt. She shook her hand off and several small pieces of dirt hit the bottom of the tub. She stood up in the tub, looked at the chair she had been bound in then nodded towards it. "You think we could move those into the tub so we could sit more comfortably?"

Sookie nodded and with a hand each on the chair they moved the chair into the tub. Stephanie sat down while Sookie moved to the end and they lifted the second chair in. They sat down, both with one hand behind them, looking almost like they were cuddling.

Sookie suddenly heard a memory overtake Stephanie, there was an image of her looking in a car mirror at short curly hair, a large, mocha arm wrapped around her shoulder.

_**"Is it really cute or were you just trying to keep me from shrieking?"_

_He ran a hand through my hair. "It's sexy," he said. And then he kissed me. Tongue and everything. I inhaled deeply and could smell his warm scent. It soaked deep into me like the heat from the sun._

_"Hey," I said. "We're not supposed to be doing that." _

_A smile hovered at the edges of his mouth. "Morelli told me you were all mine today."_

_"That was a figure of speech. He trusts us."_

_"He trusts you. I haven't signed on to the trust me program."_

_"How about me? Can I trust you?"_

_"Are we talking about your life or your body?"**_

Stephanie sighed and Sookie nudged her with her shoulder. "Girl, he seems pretty into you."

Stephanie snorted. "That wasn't all that long after the first time we slept together and he told me I should go back to Morelli."

They sat silently for several minutes.

"Does he really smell that good?"

"Yeah. It's his shower gel. It's amazing! Well… it's amazing on him. He smells pretty good too." Stephanie's mind went to an image and scent from the base of Ranger's neck as she cuddled into it on a bed in Hawaii, heat rising as his smell overwhelmed her and his hands slowly made their way toward…" She quickly blushed and looked down at the floor. "Whew… being with a mind reader I have to be careful where my mind takes me…don't wanna scare you…"

Sookie smiled. "Don't worry about it. I heard some o' the dirtiest thoughts the South has to offer. Doubt anything shocks me anymore."

A timid knock sounded on the door. "Um… I'm coming in." said Bob's voice as he slowly turned the knob. The women looked at each other skeptically.

Bob's voice cracked, "Are you decent? I mean… you're… we'll, it's a bathroom and I don't…"

"You're fine Bob, what do you need?" Stephanie replied.

"Oh, well you're going to be moved and I have to…" He said, moving quickly and jabbing Sookie in the thigh with a syringe and depressing the plunger.

"Darn it Gomer. You don't have…you don't…" Sookie said, feeling her tongue grow heavy as she slouched down in her seat. And once again, the world went black.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I hope you liked this chapter. It included some edited and altered text from Janet Evanovich's **To the Nines **(from ** to **) and a memory I imagine Steph should have had while in Hawaii with Ranger (between 17 &18?).

I promise I won't keep you in suspense forever. Ranger and Joe will appear in the next chapter and as long as my characters cooperate Eric and Bill should show up shortly thereafter.


	4. Knights on Glass Horses

This is my first fanfiction and I don't own the characters, they belong to Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich. I'm just making the introductions.

Sorry it took me two weeks to update this time. I ended up going on a road trip to The House on the Rock last weekend and didn't get to post.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The world was just coming back into focus and Sookie realized that once again she was restrained. This time she was laying on her belly with her hands behind her back. The cold metal cutting into her wrists told her it was handcuffs this time and she wondered vaguely if they were silver-plated or stainless steel.

Arching her back she gazed around her and saw Stephanie similarly trussed up a few feet away. She could not hear any thoughts coming from Stephanie and she panicked for a moment before seeing the slow rise and fall of Stephanie's back. Drugs or not, she wondered how it was that Steph could be sleeping so dreamlessly in the midst such an ordeal.

The room they were in appeared to be part of a larger warehouse, the walls on two sides of the room covered with windows that looked out onto the warehouse floor. Large storage racks stood in rows on the warehouse floor and pallets of boxes wrapped in plastic cocoons sat on the racks. She shivered and wondered why she had ever decided that driving north would be a good idea. She could have driven east and south… she'd be in sunny Miami right now wearing a bikini no doubt. But instead she was in a freezing warehouse wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. After all her years of wearing short shorts, tiny t-shirts, tank tops, and breezy dresses… Here she is wishing she had more clothes on. Who would have guessed it?

Sookie looked out across the warehouse. Surely it must be sunset by now… Bill and Eric must be looking for her. She was uncertain how they'd find her but she knew they would.

She heard movement and tried rolling onto her side to look at Stephanie. She immediately groaned as she rolled onto her right wrist. She rolled back and tried to pull her handcuffed hands enough to one side to view her wrist. The skin had caked on blood and was angry and swollen. As she flexed the skin felt stiff and burned with each movement.

_There's all kinds of love. This kind doesn't come with a ring attached. _Sookie looked back at Stephanie over her shoulder. She was moving now, broadcasting her dreams, though still not awake.

_"Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home."... "I lied about it being tonight."*_

_ "__**We**__ can get me out of my clothes? Are you planning on making it a group activity?" … "Figure of speech, Babe. I don't need help getting you undressed."**_

Sookie felt a little bad for listening in on Stephanie's dreams. She wondered briefly if the dreams were all about the same man. Based on their conversations she would guess they were about Ranger—the strong and silent one that always made moves and then withdrew. Stephanie was moving around more now, shifting her head from side to side. Sookie could see the distress on her face. "Stephanie? Steph?"

"Ranger?" Stephanie mumbled. Her head shifted and her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head. "Is Ranger here?"

"No, I think we're alone, I haven't heard any noises."

"Huh…my neck is tingling."

Sookie listened carefully for any nearby thoughts… Nothing.

"It must be sunset by now… Eric and Bill will start looking for me again."

"Yeah…But will they get here in time? Those guys wanted to trick Ranger into believing I was merely kidnapped. If they… If they…_get to _him then there's no use for us anymore. Then what?"

"Were you dreaming about him?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, it's terribly rude. I shouldn't have been in your thoughts."

"No, it's not that, I just don't know who you're talking about."

"Was it Ranger in your dreams?"

"I don't know, I don't remember."

"Does he call you 'Babe'?"

"Yeah… That's Ranger. Joe calls me 'Cupcake'."

"You sure have a lot of nicknames."

"Yeah, and I don't like most of them."

"Any you do like?"

"Mostly just Steph."

"What about 'Babe' and 'Cupcake'?"

"Sometimes I like them, sometimes I hate them. Joe uses Cupcake as a term of affection, as a sign of exasperation, or as a means of trying to get his way. Ranger uses Babe as if it were an entire language."

"And you speak this language?"

"I guess at it. Never know if I'm actually right."

Sookie looked around the room. "So Steph, any chance you know where we are?"

Steph looked around and shrugged. "Warehouse. No freeway sounds or road noises, so maybe in a warehouse district or remote place? Looks like storage or shipping rather than any kind of manufacturing."

"Lordy, how many times have you been kidnapped? You seem to have this down ."

"I don't even know at this point…" Steph sighed. _Clyde, Stiva, Scrog, Abruzzi, the Slayers… do I count every time I've been held? or just the longer_…She took a deep breath "Can we just say too many times?"

"Reckon you're an expert yet?"

"Ha, could be. You think there jobs for kidnapee experts?"

"You get me out of here I'll pay you." Sookie said with a small laugh.

"I'll see what I can do…"

Both ladies jumped as a bang reverberated through the building.

"Can you hear anything?...any thoughts?"

Sookie focused. _Bastard, where is he? Asking me to do this without backup…Like I can't be discreet._

_"_Yeah, might be one of yours. Complaining about not having backup."

Steph smiled. "Must be Joe, Ranger never goes anywhere without a partner… and we'd never hear him coming."

They both stilled as they heard knocking on a door somewhere on the warehouse floor.

_Won't even tell me why we're searching these locations. Probably just getting me out of the way while he and his thugs do something illegal. That's it... I'm getting out of here. _

"Crap, he's complaining about thugs and it sounds like he's leaving." Sookie said, trying to roll over again despite the pulling, burning pain in her wrists.

"Definitely Joe. Should we scream or something?" Steph asked.

"You're the expert."

"Well we haven't heard any of the kidnappers around…Let's go for it…" Steph said, rolling onto her side. "HELLLLLLLP!"

Sookie joined in, screaming with Steph, "HELLLLLLLLP!"

_What the hell? Is that? Shit… _

Steph and Sookie stopped shouting as a shot rang out and a door slammed open.

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!" Steph shouted.

_Dammit… Why am I doing this again…I'm going to have a frickin' heart attack. How does she get into situations like this? At least she's shouting MY name… this time._

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!" Steph shouted again.

Joe's heavy steps could be heard pounding up a metal stairway, the sound echoing through the warehouse. A door was slammed open somewhere nearby.

_What the hell is this? Crap, I'm going to have to call this in…Wait is that…?_

Sookie gasped.

"What?" Steph whispered.

"Something happened. Joe's been hurt."

"So the kidnappers really are here?"

"I don't know…he just...he stopped…there was some pain and then nothing." Sookie whispered.

"Crap." Steph set her forehead down on the floor. _Crapcrapcrapcrap…_"He's not dead is he?"

"I'm sorry… I don't know."

Both women lay quietly without moving for several minutes.

_Why aren't they in here? If they're in the warehouse… Why haven't they come in the room yet? _Steph looked at Sookie, her brows knit.

"I don't know. I can't hear anyone else's thoughts," Sookie whispered.

A large clank interrupted their conversation. Below them the floodlights in the warehouse flickered on and Sookie could see a large paneled door rolling up along one wall. A car's headlights swung through the warehouse, illuminating several pallets as it drove in through the door.

_"Hurry up man, he'll be here in 10 minutes and we still have to talk to the boss._" Sookie heard as one of the men on the warehouse floor talked to the other.

_"Shut up and close the fuckin' door. Last thing we need is Manoso screwing up our plan."_

_"You got some stuff man? I wanna mess him up before we kill him."_

_"Chill out man, Boss won't like seeing you all strung out."_

_"So where are we doing it?"_

_"No we, Boss wants to do it in his office. When Manoso gets here he'll get a text with directions."_

Sookie turned to Steph, "They're planning to direct Ranger to the office when he gets here."

Steph squirmed, _Are you sure he's not here? My neck is still tingling_.

"Can't sense him… But not everyone is a clear broadcaster like y—" Sookie stopped as a small click was heard at their door. The door swung open and a tall, black-clad, Latino man walked into the room, gun drawn. He walked quickly to Steph and knelt beside her, running one hand through her hair.

"Babe," he whispered into her hair. He took a small key out of a pouch on his belt and quickly undid Steph's cuffs. She got up quickly sitting cross-legged. He leaned over and kissed her forehead and the inside of one wrist then turned toward Sookie.

She searched his face looking for more thoughts but found none until his hand held her wrist. As he turned the key on her cuffs his thoughts flowed into her freely, clearly. _Gotta get Babe and her out. Come back for Morelli. Damn, looks like they were roughed up a little, they better not have touched my Babe. _His eyes swung back towards Steph who was moving to stand up while holding up the oversized pants she wore. _Shit, I can't… I don't want to know right now…_Sookie could feel anger radiating through him.

_No, nothing happened. _Sookie thought briefly. Ranger turned quickly and stared into her eyes, a cold look on his face, just before he released her. He removed a pair of zip-ties from a pouch in his cargo pants and walked over to Steph, looking back over his shoulder at Sookie then turning back and pulling Steph's hips close. He slid the zip ties through belt loops on each side of the pants and pulled them tight.

Steph flushed as he jerked her forward and his hands brushed her skin. She let out a small gasp as the ties tightened. Her eyes never left Ranger's. "They've got Joe." She said flatly.

Ranger handed her a gun and pointed at the door.

"This was on the list of places to check out. I was scouting the exterior when they texted me to meet here. I figured he got here first when I saw the exterior door lock shot open." He nodded towards Sookie, "Take her and get out. Down the stairs to the right then straight ahead. You should see the open door." He grabbed her waist again and shoved a set of keys in her pocket. "Turn right outside. My truck is around the back of the building. Wait 5 minutes for me. If I don't show, take off and call Tank with the truck's comm."

"He's not here?" Steph whispered.

"The kidnappers said to come alone. I couldn't risk it. Tank and a team are waiting about a mile down the road. If I don't come or if anyone approaches you don't wait, just drive." Ranger slid his hand up Steph's back and kissed her quickly pulling her body up along his. Sookie shifted uncomfortably, leaning against the doorframe, unable to look away from the pair.

Suddenly Sookie gasped as she felt a cold hand quickly circle her neck and lift her off the floor. She was thrown, crashing against the far wall. Before she could figure out what was happening Steph was on the floor beside her. She saw Ranger, gun raised, and then watched as he crumpled to the floor, another man's figure crouching over him.

The crouched figure looked up at Sookie and she felt a chill go through her as Steph's fear washed over her and combined with her own realizations. The man's face cracked into a sinister smile, his teeth glowing slightly under the florescent lights.

"My lucky day…" He snarled.

Sookie felt the fear in her rising as she looked into his cold eyes. Guess Steph was wrong; there were vampires in Trenton.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_*FTS **FLF_

Please review, pm, and favorite, it really inspiring me to write more. Let me know if you like it, if you see things that need fixed, or if you have ideas you'd like to see.

Bill and/or Eric should show up in the next chapter.


	5. And Now That We're All Here

Characters remain the property of their creators, Ms. Harris and Ms. Evanovich, I just thought the two main characters should meet. This is my first attempt at fan fiction and I've only read one Sookie Stackhouse novel and a little of its fanfic so I apologize if the voice or writing is not as good as some of the other fine fanfiction writers around here. If anyone would like to beta or has ideas where this should go or things they'd like me to include, please let me know in the reviews.

oooooooooooooo

_Suddenly Sookie gasped as she felt hand quickly circle her neck and lift her off the floor. She was thrown, crashing against the far wall. Before she could figure out what was happening Steph was on the floor beside her. She saw Ranger, gun raised, and then watched as he crumpled to the floor, another man's figure crouching over him._

_The crouched figure looked up at Sookie and she felt a chill go through her as Steph's fear washed over her and combined with her own realizations. The man's face cracked into a sinister smile, the pale white skin glowing slightly under the florescent lights._

_"My lucky day…" He snarled_.

_Sookie felt the fear in her rising as she looked into his cold eyes. Guess Steph was wrong; there were vampires in Trenton._

**Chapter 5 – And now that we're all here**…

Sookie was trying to figure out what was happening but was being overwhelmed by Steph's fear and anguish as they watched the stranger, the vampire, pick Ranger up by the neck and shake him like a doll. The vampire was tall, perhaps 6'2", and his low brow and dark hair gave him a look somewhere between Spanish and Caveman. His eyes were dark and were currently evaluating Ranger from head to toe. His fangs were drawn, his nose flared and wrinkled and a slight hiss accompanied his snarled expression. He wore a black suit and crisp grey dress shirt, each so well-tailored he might have stepped out of catalog, and the incongruity of his face and his outfit made him all the more terrifying.

Done with his evaluation the vampire growled and tossed Ranger into a nearby wall, drywall and debris shattering around him. Steph let out a quiet gasp and the vampire's eyes quickly fixed on her. He stalked to where Steph and Sookie had been tossed moments earlier and grabbed each by the throat. He pulled them towards his face and ran his nose along the skin of Steph's neck.

"Hmmm..." he murmured. He breathed in Sookie and smiled, "You smell delicious…You're going to make a very pleasant dessert." He licked his bottom lip and Sookie felt her stomach turn.

Steph turned her head and looked the vampire in the eye. "What do you want? I'm pretty sure you didn't go through all the trouble of having me kidnapped just to have me for dinner." Sookie could feel Steph using every ounce of courage she had to sound brave.

The vampire returned Steph's gaze and Sookie felt Steph's will slip quickly away. "Sit down and stop asking questions," the vampire said in a low voice. Steph nodded her head and sat down on the floor as the vampire released her, his words echoing as the only thoughts in her head. Sookie felt sure she would be next and wondered if she should pretend to be glamoured when he tried but instead he was now dragging her toward the door. She was thinking of fighting back when she glanced over and saw Ranger staring at her. He raised one hand slightly and mouthed the word _calm. _Before they cleared the door she saw Ranger make a gesture that she assumed meant he would follow or come after her. She had a glimpse of Steph sitting placidly and wondered just how effective this girl's savior could be against a vampire.

oooooooo

She had been sitting for what felt like hours in the dark. It was cold and the dim light, slipping in from under a door some fifteen feet away, served only to illuminate the numerous dead insects that littered the concrete floor. There was another human in the room with her and though unconscious, his random dream thoughts made her certain it must be Joe. She thought back over what had happened since she last saw Steph and tried to piece together what it all meant.

After dragging her from the room the vampire had bound her hands with rope and put her in the corner of the room. The light was too dim for her to see but she knew from her experience that he had no such problems in the dark. After waiting several terror-filled minutes, listening to doors opening and nearly silent movements and footsteps heard only from the crunching of dead bugs, she felt a jab in her thigh and heard the vamp whisper, "Don't worry you'll be up in time for dessert." She struggled and tried to move and was given a harsh blow across her already damaged head. The pain still throbbed as she tried to focus on the memories.

Despite the drugs she had heard the rambling thoughts of one of the human kidnappers as they talked to the vampire in the hallway. He was being congratulated and told he could leave and that the new headquarters should be readied. He asked about Manoso and the woman but was told they were no longer his concern. The man had a small rush of excitement as he thought about what the vampire might do to them. Sookie shuddered as the memory of his dark and twisted thoughts ran through her mind.

The humans had pounded down the stairs and from the other room she thought she heard a few noises that sounded like a scuffle and then stillness descended.

Now there was only silence. It stretched out and wrapped itself around her like a dense smoke. If she screamed she felt sure the silence would rush down her throat before the sound could reach the air. She concentrated now on seeking out thoughts. She could hear none. This told her nothing conclusive as last she saw her Steph was sitting in a glamoured haze and Ranger's thoughts had been hidden from her ever since they touched. Even Joe's mind had gone silent, though a rough breath every few minutes assured her he was still there and alive. She couldn't be certain about Ranger and Steph. She closed her eyes and wished for sleep. The drugs still in her system were helpful in this regard and her mind soon quieted.

ooooooooooooo

Sookie awoke to an echoing clang of metal. It wasn't loud, but in the large warehouse the sound echoed off the floors and ceiling and vibrated through the walls. She could hear an occasional breath from Joe, still shallow and rough. Her mind reached out and she caught the thoughts of men in the warehouse below. The thoughts were short and direct. _Go left. Go around. Keep an eye on the back door. _ They sounded like commands or directives and she wondered if this was a cause for fear or hope.

Gentle footsteps made their way up a metal staircase and doors creaked one-by-one as they opened. She heard a murmured voice from a nearby room and the thoughts: _What the hell did they do to them? Drugs? Let's just get them out of here._

Footsteps neared her door and she saw the shadow of feet below the door to the room she was in. She found her body was stiff and heavy but she still managed to slide sideways. She discovered she was next to a solid table or desk of some sort. She had just finished sliding her body back until she could no longer see the doorway when the door swung open and a small flashlight swung around the walls and floor of the room. _Shit, Morelli is here too. _She heard a few footsteps then a slight grunt as Morelli was picked up off the floor and slung over someone's shoulder. The flashlight swung around the room again. _What the hell happened in here? _

Sookie could see the looming shadow of the figure hauling the body from the light of the doorway and could not get over the man's size. Morelli was either a tiny man or this man was a giant. She was still considering making a noise or shouting out when the door swung closed.

The sound of multiple footsteps descending the metal stairs followed and Sookie shivered in fear. Which fate would be worse? Staying here and facing the return of the vampire or a fate with the unknown men outside. Suddenly the warehouse erupted in sound and thoughts.

_Holy crap! _One man's thoughts rang out as she saw a clear image of a man flying through the air and heard the accompanying crash in the warehouse below.

_Are these the guys who— _was cut short as gunshots rang out from multiple guns. _Crap, they're not going down…moving so fast… must be vamps…_

A voice rang out. A voice Sookie found oddly familiar, tinged with hatred and anger, "WHERE HAVE YOU GOT HER?"

Sookie's mind whirled and she felt the thickness of the drugs and the clouds of confused thoughts joining her own as she tried to place the voice.

"Woah, slow down, we didn't take anyone… what are you talking about?" Another man's voice answered.

"You have one man unconscious and lady who has clearly been incapacitated and you make claim that you are not the culprits responsible for harming Sookie Stackhouse? I know she is near, tell me where she is."

_Can't breathe…How can he be this strong? Is he—_

"Put him down." Ranger's voice was clear and loud.

"You then. Tell us where she is."

Sookie heard a crash as another body was thrown. She tried to speak now, tried even to scream, but found her muscles frozen, her voice mute.

"A vampire took her."

"There are no vampires in this district. You took her. I can smell her on you. Just as I can smell _your_ stench on this other woman." This was a new voice, one that was deadly calm and filled with scorn. Sookie recognized it immediately as Eric Northman. The other voice must be Bill.

"I came for this woman and found another woman being held in the same room. I released their cuffs and was then attacked by this vampire." Ranger replied.

"Where IS SOOKIE?" Bill's voice rang out.

"I only know that the vampire took her out of the room she had been held in and then returned shortly thereafter. When he locked us up again and knocked me out he apparently left. My men swept the rooms upstairs but didn't find her or anyone else."

Sookie struggled again, finding her body could move a bit but her voice was still mute.

Eric's voice was low but she could hear it clearly, "She's here, I can feel her. She's still in pain. I will find her. If you have been the cause of this pain you will live only as long as I have the pleasure of causing you that same pain many times over."

Sookie pulled her head forward then allowed it to fall back against the table with a thud. She did not hear footsteps but heard as door after door in the hallway crashed open. At last her doorway was open. She heard Eric take a deep breath in and then, suddenly he was at her side, lifting her into his arms. His nose was buried in her hair, his cool, hard body pressed firmly against her as he held her up. She could see his blond hair lit from behind like a halo, and his tall, broad frame in silhouette.

In a rush of air she was back on the warehouse floor, in the light. Eric was brushing his fingers over her bruised right eye and swollen lip. His eyes were intensely focused on hers and filled with more emotion than she had ever seen in them.

"Sookie, who has done this?" Bill's voice, coming from just over Eric's shoulder, demanded.

Sookie opened her mouth but her voice still would not come. She looked over and saw Ranger holding a vacant-eyed Steph in his arms. Bill was standing just behind them, his hair dark and shiny his clothing looking far too impeccable for the scene around them. On the floor around them she saw a couple of men dressed in black as well as another man lying face down, a tight ass in blue jeans the only part of this man she could make out.

Bill repeated, "Who has done this? Was it these men?"

Sookie mouthed, "Not them." Sookie shivered and Eric took off his jacket and gently wrapped it around her. Bill moved towards them, a scowl on his face. He grabbed the back of Ranger's jacket, turning his face away from him with an expression of disgust. "This man claims he was assisting in your rescue." He blew out a quick breath, "He has a distasteful smell and avoids my glamour. I don't trust him, does he tell the truth or can I dispatch him now?"

"No!" Sookie mouthed, her eyes wide. She found she could move her head a bit and continued to move it in small movements from side to side. Eric still held her up, one hand now resting on the back of her neck, a finger slowly caressing the side of her throat.

Bill moved over and picked up the man with the nice ass. He shook him slightly and the man's eyes blinked a few times then slowly opened.

"You. Did you harm Sookie?" Bill said into the man's face. The man stared back blankly his body tensing in fear.

Bill stared more intently and the man's body suddenly relaxed completely. "Did you harm Sookie?"

"I don't know…. I don't know a Sookie." The man mumbled.

"What do you know about this situation?"

"We were following the V trade."

"Who is we?"

"State Narcotic's division. We kept running searches and leads and kept finding connections to that thug Manoso."

"So this Manoso is running V?"

"Trying to find out when Steph was kidnapped. I agreed to help Manoso to find her."

"Dammit Morelli we're the only thing keeping the V trade at bay in most of Jersey." Ranger's voice was clipped and his eyes fierce but Morelli didn't seem to notice and was silently gazing at Bill.

Eric's voice was sharp, "Who took Sookie?"

"I don't know," Morelli replied flatly. "I came in and found a room with vials and vials of blood and medical equipment. I felt a sharp sting. The next thing I knew I was being carried down the stairs by a huge man in black." Joe was still staring at Bill and he seemed to have a small smile on his face.

Sookie was focused on the finger caressing her throat and thinking about how easily Eric held her in his arms. She could barely process what was being said and it wasn't until she heard the words "kill them" that she turned her focus back to the conversation Bill and Eric were having.

"It is almost daylight. I will take her to a safe place before we go to ground. We do not have the time to determine their motives." Eric was saying.

"Sookie will not be happy if you kill someone who tried to save her. Nor if you kill the woman."

"She will be alive. We can worry if she is happy later."

"She is still conscious, she will remember."

Eric turned her face towards his. He stared at her coldly. "I will ask only once. Must they live?"

Sookie nodded her head, tears springing to her eyes. _Yes, _she mouthed.

"I can take her; I have a secure facility with a medic on staff. She will be safe there." Ranger said, his voice soft.

Eric and Bill both turned toward him. The three men stared each other down. "I do not like it." Eric growled.

Sookie's hand tensed on his shirt. He looked down and she mouthed, _Please. _Eric shifted his hand and ran it over the bruising of her eye. "I could…" Sookie shook her head. _No._

ooooooooooooooooo

Eric continued to hold Sookie until Bill had ensured that Morelli, the two men in black, and Stephanie were in the black Explorer parked outside. He gently strapped Sookie into a seat belt and fixed Ranger with a glare. "You will have a fate worse than death if she is harmed."

"I have no doubt." Ranger replied.

"We will find who has done this." Bill said. Ranger and Eric both nodded.

"My men will begin the search immediately. No one hurts my Babe." Ranger replied leaning over and brushing the hair off Steph's forehead. She stared back at him blankly.

Bill leaned into the vehicle and met Ranger's eye. "She's been glamoured… I can reverse it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Will she remember everything that happened and everything we've just said?"

"Does she need to?"

"We may need her to remember her kidnappers."

Bill leaned over Stephanie and met her eyes. He whispered in her ear. She smiled, rolled over and went to sleep.

"She will have her memories from this past day, but without any of the pain. She should not remember events that happened after being glamoured by the first vampire."

Ranger paused then looked at the sleeping form of Stephanie for a long moment. "Thank you."

Joe smiled at Bill and waved a hand. Bill leaned over and whispered in his ear as well. Joe smiled even wider then laid his head on the shoulder of the man in black beside him and quickly fell asleep.

Sookie watched Ranger's blank face as he drove away from the warehouse. She looked back to where Eric and Bill had been standing moments earlier. There was no sign of them. She had a slight panicky moment where she thought she might still be tied up and dreaming before the throbbing pain in her head assured her she was awake.

Sookie slowly reached forward and placed her hand on Ranger's arm. _So where are we headed Batman?_ Sookie asked, trying to broadcast her thoughts as clearly as she could.

Ranger turned his head slightly towards her. His expression was still blank but she thought she could perceive the corner of his mouth turning up slightly.

Please review. It really helps motivate me to write more quickly. I just got a "non-renewal" notice for my teaching job and have been under a lot of stress. I could use your happy :)


	6. Home, home on the Range(man Properties)

Characters belong to Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich, I'm just making the introductions.

Ranger was silent on the drive, as were the two hulking men in black in the back. Steph and Joe were quietly observing peaceful, glamoured sleep.

Sookie had hear a brief flash of : _Why the hell is she touching him? Ranger's gonna be pissed._" From the mind of one of the men in black when she had touched Rangers's arm but they had gone blank since then. They weren't as far from the city as it had seemed and less than a half hour later they were sliding into the underground garage of a large black building.

With just a few brief phrases on his cell Ranger had sent a team of men to quietly observe the warehouse. He turned to one of the men in the back and directed him to retrieve and return Morelli's vehicle to his house. Ranger paused, looking in the back, perhaps perplexed over the issue of what to do with the man himself as he stood staring at Joe's sleeping form in the vehicle.

"Tank, wake him up."

The aptly named hulking black man paused, as he got out of the SUV, looking at Ranger for a second before turning back towards the vehicle and shouting "Morelli" with all the volume and force of a drill sergeant. Joe quickly jumped up, placing a hand on his empty shoulder holster. He looked from Tank to Ranger then around the vehicle to the still sleeping form of Stephanie and the questioning eyes of Sookie.

"She alright?" he said, nodding toward Stephanie.

Ranger gave a brief nod, "Just sleeping."

"What the hell happened?"

"You were drugged."

"Last I remember I was checking out the warehouse you sent me to and I heard Steph shouting. I ran in but someone hit me." Joe rubbed the back of his neck and winced slightly.

"If you think you have a concussion I can have my medic check you out."

"I'm fine. I'll take Steph home now; she can make a statement about the kidnapping in the morning."

"Steph stays here."

"The hell she does. I've been tracing the V trade and all signs lead back to you. For all I know she was kidnapped by you or because of you."

"I would never hurt Stephanie. Regardless of the kidnappers' reasons she is safer here. My building is secure and has a medic. She's fine but she _was_ drugged and I want to have her checked out. The other girl was kidnapped as well and she's been unable to speak since we found her."

Sookie cringed when Ranger called her a girl and was now scowling as Joe looked her over. "I..." her voice croaked out. "I'd like..." her mouth continued but the words stopped. Ranger put a hand on her arm.

"I think she'd be more comfortable staying with Steph until they can both make statements."

Sookie nodded.

Joe glared at Ranger. _That way they have hours to get their stories straight. Doesn't look like I have much choice. Fuck, I don't even have a car here._

Ranger turned towards Tank, who had silently been observing. "Take Morelli home and have his car delivered there. Give him the direct number for the bunk room on 4. We'll put Steph and Sookie there tonight."

Ranger got out and Tank slipped behind the steering wheel, somehow making the large SUV look cramped. Ranger nodded at Sookie who jumped down out of the front seat and landed firmly on the ground. Her legs and arms were tired but not wobbly. She noticed Ranger's arm had been out to catch her if needed but he avoided touching her unnecessarily. Ranger leaned into the back seat and scooped Steph into his arms. She cuddled-in instantly and Sookie heard a small growling sound coming from Joe. She ignored Joe and followed Ranger to the corner of the garage to a steel elevator door with no buttons. Ranger swiped a fob in front of a panel and the door instantly opened.

Sookie followed Ranger into the elevator and paused in front of the number panel, ready to hit a button for the both of them since Ranger had his hands full with Steph. Instead the doors slid closed and the elevator began to rise with no buttons pushed at all. As the doors slid open she glanced at the indicator and saw they were on the third floor. Ranger remained silent but nodded his head for her to disembark. She entered a brightly lit corridor with concrete walls and industrial style carpeting. She followed Ranger to a door marked "Infirmary."

Inside the room was painted white and had the smell and appearance of a hospital emergency room. Cabinets lined the walls and a paper-covered exam table sat in the center of the room. A full sized gurney was lined up against the far wall along with a slew of high-tech looking medical equipment. Sitting on a rolling stool was a tall black man in what seemed to be the company uniform. He was muscled and dangerous looking and hardly looked to be a medical professional. Ranger laid Steph down gently on the gurney and covered her with a blanket.

"Bobby I think they were both drugged. I don't know the extent of other injuries." He stared at Bobby for a moment in a silent conversation.

The man, Bobby, smiled at Sookie and his dangerousness vanished suddenly. He extended his hand. She took it. "Bobby Brown, I'm the medic here at Rangeman. We'll take good care of you. I'm going to look you and Steph over if it's alright with you." He raised an eyebrow and Sookie nodded. "Maybe Ranger can make himself useful and get some food down here in the meantime?...I don't know about you but I've never found kidnappers to be the best hosts and I'm pretty sure Steph is going to want some chocolate cake when she wakes up." He smiled widely then turned and looked at Ranger, as if waiting for him to depart.

Ranger's face made a slight frown at the words "chocolate cake" but he turned and left the room saying only "Fifteen minutes" over his shoulder as he left.

Bobby was gentle as he probed the bruise on her face and asked if she'd like the area numbed with a shot or would like a pain killer. Sookie opted for the pain killer. She found Bobby's mind fairly silent with only a few medical musings interrupting the quiet. He asked her to say a few words, looked at her throat and asked for permission to draw blood and determine the drug used. He cleaned the damaged skin on her wrists and wrapped them in bandages. He sat down and looked her in the eye, pausing before asked about any other injuries or abuse she had suffered. She shook her head "no." Bobby nodded then asked if he could get a vial of blood. Sookie stared at the vial as her blood rushed into it and pondered over how much drama such a simple thing could cause.

Sookie watched as Bobby gently shook Steph awake, soothe her endless questions about Ranger, assuring her of his safety, and then repeat his exam procedures on her. Steph's voice didn't seem to be as affected, but then Sookie had been dosed more times than Steph and who knew if it was the same drug each time.

"I think your voice-loss is just the residual effect of a drug that freezes up your muscles. I want to check out your blood work though and see you again tomorrow to make sure it's not something affecting your nerves. I'll give you some tea that should help and you should try to relax your voice and speak as little as necessary. Your eye got a good whack and will probably hurt for a few days but I don't see signs of concussion. The swelling on your eye should go down by the time you wake up. Not much I can do about the bruising. I can give you something to help you sleep but you still have drugs in your system so you may only want to take them if you have actual trouble sleeping. In the meantime it looks like Ranger is back so I imagine some tasty _medicine_ awaits." Bobby nodded towards the door as Ranger entered.

Steph walked straight to Ranger and wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking her face into his shirt. "Bobby said you were okay, but after the way that man just picked you up and shook you…And then when he threw you into the wall..." She looked fiercely at Bobby. "You need to look him over too."

Bobby nodded. "She's right Ranger. Take them up to four then I expect you back down here."

Ranger stared coldly then gave a slight nod before turning Steph towards the doorway. Sookie walked forward and stood near the door. "Thank you Mr. Brown." She said, using all the Southern manners she could in her exhausted state.

"It's Bobby and it was no problem. I'll have Ella bring up the tea and painkillers."

Sookie didn't bother asking who Ella was and simply nodded, following Ranger down the hall to the elevator.

Oooooooooooooo

Sookie woke up slowly. She checked her wrists and found them free. She hesitated before opening her eyes, taking in that she was warm and comfortable and that the room was bright with sunlight. Her wrists were still sore but the feeling of the tape holding bandages in place assured her that her memories from the previous evening were real. She yawned, stretched, and then opened her eyes. She could vaguely remember an older Latina woman feeding them and giving her painkillers and tea before she went to bed and seemed to remember waking to see Ranger sitting in a chair near Steph's bed. She looked over and saw Steph sprawled out across a bed with sheets twisted around her and a blanket half falling off the bed. Tucked into the corner of the room was the chair where she felt sure she had seen Ranger. The room was mostly dark with heavy drapes blocking out the sunlight but a wide beam fell across her pillow. She looked around the room for a clock. Not finding any clocks in the bedroom she ventured out of the room and into an open kitchenette and living room just outside the door.

The kitchen held a box of doughnuts, a coffee maker, and a large note on the fridge that read: "Please call me when you get up and I will bring you fresh clothes, towels, and a hot meal. Just dial 6 on the house phone. ~Ella" On the counter she also found some painkillers with her name on the label and a bottle of Tylenol. She opted for the Tylenol, grabbed a glass from the cabinet and was just filling it with water when Steph stumbled out of the bedroom.

Steph wordlessly walked to the breakfast counter, flipped on the coffee maker, sat down and took a doughnut out of the box. She let out a moan as she took a bite of the doughnut then turned toward Sookie. "Can I get a couple of those too? My shoulders are killing me."

Sookie smiled, shook out a couple more Tylenol, and got Steph a glass of water. Steph downed the Tylenol, picked up the phone, dialed and told the person on the other end that they were both up. She sat back down and took another bite of her doughnut.

"How's your voice?"

"I think it's mostly back. I don't even want to look in a mirror at my face though."

"You do have some pretty colors, but at least your eye can open now."

"Still, I'm a little afraid of seeing it."

Steph smiled weakly. "I've had worse." She shrugged and sighed as a glob of filling from her doughnut fell. "So I don't remember much, but seeing as we're here I guess Ranger saved us?"

Sookie paused for a moment trying to decide how to answer, "Not exactly."

Steph raised her eyebrows. "Joe?"

"More like Ranger's men and sort of my men."

"No way... I know Bobby gave me some painkillers last night but I can't believe I saw vampires and forgot about it. Sookie just shrugged. How do you explain to someone about glamouring and that it's been done to them? After a beat, Stephanie shrugged and went back to eating. "So who showed up first?"

"Ranger's men—they found you and Ranger and Joe and were on their way out when my guys showed up. I was still in an upstairs room."

"That couldn't have gone well."

Sookie reviewed what she knew of what had happened. "No…it did not go well." She said slowly. "But, no one was killed and that's something special."

"Is Joe alright?"

"Yeah…" Sookie wondered what Joe would remember. "He should be alright."

"Should be?"

"Well he was drugged too… So I don't know what he'll remember. I think Ranger's men took him home last night."

"He's going to want a statement on our kidnapping."

"Right, he said something about that."

"He was conscious?"

"Uh…yeah."

"And he knew I stayed here?"

"Yeah."

"Crap. He's going to be pissed."

"We kind of told him you should stay to make me feel more comfortable."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, of course. I didn't even think of how… I'm so sorry." _Crap, of course she wouldn't want to stay here with all the men in black. She must be totally freaked out._

"No, really I'm fine."

"Are _your _guys okay with your staying here?"

"They weren't thrilled, but it was nearly sunrise and Ranger offered security and a medic."

They were interrupted by the phone on the wall ringing. Steph picked it up tentatively, "Hello?" _Crap. "_Oh, hey Joe" … "Yeah, we just got up." … "Much better, Bobby looked us over last night" … Steph blew out a sigh. _Of course he's qualified Joe…_ "Do we need to come into the station to give statements, or … maybe you could come here?" … "Yeah, probably better we stay inside anyhow." _I swear Joe, you're worse than Ranger_… "Okay, see you later then."

"Joe is going to be by within the hour for our statements about the kidnappers." Steph said, turning back towards Sookie. Just then a knock was heard and the small woman Sookie recalled from the previous evening bustled into the room pushing a cart with a large tray of food on top.

"Stephanie sweetheart you look so much better this morning—much more yourself!"

"Ella, thank you so much for the doughnuts, it's just what I needed!" Steph proclaimed giving Ella a small hug.

Ella smiled sweetly, "You'll have to thank Ranger or one of the boys for those, I was busy with making everyone lunch."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, it's right in the middle of lunch shift, isn't it."

"No problem dear, the boys have just been pulling an all-nighter so they're extra hungry."

"But they found us; shouldn't they all be catching up on sleep now?"

"I don't know dear, but it doesn't seem like anyone has gone home yet. I did see Tank downstairs as I took your call and he said to let you know that when you're ready you should call down to five."

Steph nodded and sat down silently as Ella began putting plates of food in front of her on the counter. Sookie let out a happy sigh as the smell of pancakes, toast, eggs, bacon, and maple syrup wafted over her.

"It may be lunch time, but I know how much you like breakfast foods Stephanie." Ella said with a smile, setting down a pitcher of orange juice in front of them and moving back to her cart. "Now, when you've finished eating there are some clothes for each of you on the cart. The set with the white t-shirt is for you Ms. Stackhouse. I think you're just a little shorter than Stephanie and if I was wrong on any of the sizes just let me know and I'll run out and get you something else. I can also run over with one of the boys to your hotel or car to get whatever things you need."

"Aren't you just the sweetest thing? My goodness, so thoughtful… you sound just like my Gran."

Ella smiled, "Just doing my job. You let me know if you need anything."

Sookie suddenly stood up and gave Ella a hug. "You're a gem."

Ella packed her cart, smiled again at both ladies and left the apartment.

Steph nodded towards the door as Sookie returned to her seat. "She's the best part of staying at Rangeman. I want her to adopt me."

"And you stay here often?"

"I first came here when I was being hunted by a local gang with a price on my head. I've been back a few times since."

"To hide out?"

"Sometimes…" Steph's eyes glazed over for a second. _Amongst other things._

"And you say _Ella_ is the bestpart?" Sookie said with a wink.

Steph smiled, "Second best?"

"But you and Ranger have never been a couple?"

"Nope. He doesn't do relationships. He makes it quite clear what he wants me for..."

Sookie raised an eyebrow. She parted her lips to ask a question when there was a brief knock and the door opened. Ranger walked in and took a position behind Stephanie.

"Ella feeding you junk food?"

"Pancakes are not junk food!" Steph replied. _They're just not the rabbit food you eat._

"Babe."

"Ranger," Steph said with a scowl.

"Morelli is in the conference room on one. He says you were expecting him."

"Oh, right, he wanted to ask us about the kidnapping."

"I'll let him know you should be down in ten."

"But I haven't even showered yet."

"Fifteen."

Sookie stood up and picked up the stack of clothes Ella had left her. "I can be ready in ten and he can interview me first, that should give Steph time to get ready."

"Thank you Ms. Stackhouse."

"Oh please, just call me Sookie, y'all put me up for the night and fed me a great breakfast, not to mention the medical attention. I reckon we should be on a first name basis by now."

"I'll have a man outside your door when you're ready Sookie." Ranger said with a nod. He pulled on one of Steph's curls, gave her a long look, and then left the room.

oooooooooooooooooo

It was nearly two o'clock by the time_ Detective _Joe Morelli was done interviewing both Sookie and Steph. Sookie didn't like the overly-serious tone Joe was setting in the interview but wasn't sure if it was because she kept intercepting his thoughts centering around "_somehow Manoso is behind all this," _ or if it was just because she was used to the casual familiarity she had with the police in Bon Temps. She had noticed throughout the steady red light on the security camera in the corner and was that all Ranger's men would be familiar with her account by the time they were done. She'd be just as happy not to repeat it anyhow. It was exhausting trying to separate out and repeat what she had heard people _say _versus what they had thought. Ella had come in twice to bring them drink service and she was appreciative when she perceived that she had been sent not only for the drinks but to check on Sookie and pull her out for some fictitious medical appointment if she looked uncomfortable.

As soon Detective Morelli finished her interview, Sookie had been brought back to her room on four. Steph's interview was next and while she waited Sookie had been left with nothing but television for entertainment and had opted for a nap instead.

Sookie awoke to hearing a low male whisper in the next room. She felt her stomach clench and a moment of fear before she heard the murmur of Steph's whispered reply followed by the silent plea: _He had better stop looking at me like that; Sookie is just in the next room._

She heard a small gasp, a body shift, and a thump against the doorway. There was a quiet moanand the shadow from under the door showed two pair of feet. _God he's talented with his tongue!_

At that Sookie couldn't help but let out a giggle and the sound suddenly stopped. She heard a couple of footsteps and the exterior door shut.

The door opened and Steph walked in looking slightly dazed. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"For what?"

"Well…for…" Steph gesture towards the doorway. "For that. Somehow Ranger just does that to me, and today he seems especially predatory."

"He was probably just scared when you were kidnapped, only natural he'd want to hold on now that he got you back."

"I'm not sure Ranger does scared."

"Honey, everybody does scared."

"Can you tell… I mean can you, you know, _hear _ him?"

"No, I can't. Well I did hear something, but only when I was touching him."

"Geesh, figures. Even mind readers can't get past that blank face of his. Probably something the military taught him."

"I don't know. I can usually hear something, even from those that don't want me to. Except for vampires… can't hear a peep from them."

"So… you think he's a ..."

"Naw… he can't be a vampire. Could be something else though… There's all sorts out there."

_Figures, figures he'd be a…. _Steph started laughing, a small giggle getting larger until she was holding her sides and tears were streaming down her face. Sookie sat smiling, wishing she were in on the joke.

"It's just… you know… Batman… he's like some sort of superhero… and" Steph stopped laughing for long enough to draw in a deep breath, "And so of course he's some sort of super-natural something…" her laughter subsided and she sat silently for another minute. "Do you think that's why he says… he says he's not relationship material?"

Sookie shrugged. "I don't know. Bill was hesitant to be in a relationship at first too. But it seems like although lots of them seem to prefer their own kind there are plenty of examples of relationships between all sorts. Even I am just part… well … special."

Steph raised an eyebrow, okay both eyebrows, and stared at Sookie. "Part special?" _What kind of special are you?_

Sookie paused "It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that my kind are sort of hunted by others and so the fewer people that know the better."

"Oh, of course." _I have no idea what that means._

"So…" Sookie stood up. "What are we doing all day?"

"Ranger said they were having a briefing at 3:00 to review what they've discovered so far. We should probably get going pretty soon."

Sookie went to the bathroom and fixed her hair, opting to leave it down and cover as much as she could the large bruise covering a quarter of her face.

They took the stairs to fifth floor and entered a corridor done completely in varying shades of grey, glass, and steel. They passed a room filled with monitors and large black-clad men, and a few empty cubicles before coming to a conference room filled with a long oval table and a slew of wide black leather executive chairs half of which were already filled.

"Wow, they really go all out. Those are some nice chairs for a meeting room" Sookie whispered to Steph.

"Have you seen these guys? They wouldn't fit in the average chair."

Sookie looked around, "Good point."

A tall, well-muscled man at the front of the room waved his arm. "Beautiful, I've got seats for you and your lovely friend up here." He winked and pulled out one of the chairs.

"Down boy, she's taken." Steph replied sitting in the proffered chair.

"M'lady," he said, pulling out a second chair.

"Thank you." Sookie said, sitting down and taking the hand he offered.

"Lester, " he replied. _And the pleasure is truly all mine._

"Sookie." she said, giggling at his flirting. _You'd think I didn't have a giant black eye with the way you're staring mister._

He pulled in a little closer to her and winked. _You look beautiful, whoever did that to you will pay._

Sookie turned to Steph, leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Is that one always such a flirt?"

"Always."

Sookie thought there was something vaguely familiar about him.

oooooooooooooooo

At the end of the meeting Sookie let out a breath of relief. While most of the men stayed on the topic of the meeting, and she had learned that there were several leads on the human members of the kidnapping crew, she had a bit of a headache from fending off the thoughts of revenge that men were voicing about _whoever had done this to Bomber and her friend._ She was also wondering how long it would be before sunset and how upset Bill and Eric would be if there wasn't progress.

The huge man she had heard called Tank slipped her a note that said her car was in the garage downstairs and her bags had been brought to the room on four.

As soon as they stood up she saw Ranger position himself behind Steph and whisper in her ear. She nodded then turned to Sookie, Ranger still standing with a hand on her lower back. "I'm pretty good at doing searches so I'm going to look over the files for some of the guys on our list. Ranger said sunset is at 7 tonight and we can have pizza at his place at 6 if you want so we're ready to go at 7.

Sookie nodded, "Should we be leaving the building though? Are we out of risk?"

"Ranger's apartment is on the seventh floor."

Ranger spoke up, "We'll leave the building with escorts before sunset. You have a way to contact your _men?"_

"As long as you have a phone I can use I can just call them." Sookie replied.

_"_And they will protect you without harming us?" He countered.

"Yes."

"See you at 6." Ranger said, nodding toward Sookie, dropping a kiss on top of Steph's head, and retreating towards some offices further down the hall.

"Do you want to go do searches with me, or go back to four?"

"I know I've slept plenty but honestly I've got a bit of a headache and wouldn't mind another nap."

"Oh, of course. If you need Bobby just dial zero and let control know and they'll connect you. And the drugs are all still on the counter, so whatever you need…"

Lester sidled up behind Steph… "I could help with her _needs_…"

Steph slapped him playfully. "No Lester, leave this one alone." She turned toward Sookie, "He thinks he's God's gift to women."

"_Thinks? _ You offend me Beautiful!" He grabbed Steph's hand and pretended to stab himself in the heart with an imaginary knife. Then he got more interested in the hand and began playing with her fingers.

"You're such a flirt Lester." Steph cried, pulling her hand away.

"It's not my fault, I was born this way."

Sookie stared at him hard. "Somehow I believe that," she said with a smirk. "Now walk me to four, I have some questions."

a/n I don't know how this chapter happened or how it got so long. I fully expected for the ladies to sleep at Rangemen and then get straight into action and for all of us to enjoy seeing Ranger, Joe, Eric, and Bill suffering through trying to work with too many Alpha Males in the kitchen. But then the characters seemed to think we needed to hear about every little detail that happened when they got back to Rangeman. Really, these characters never seem to do what I expect them to do. So frustrating. But after an extra two days 4K+ words I gave up and decided I should just look for a decent stopping point so I could move on. I promise more action and more of Eric and Bill in the next chapter.

*Please leave comments, I don't know if this unendingly-long chapter would have gotten itself out of my system and onto the page so that I can move on if it weren't for all of your positive words and encouragement*


	7. Alpha, Alpha, Alpha Better

Characters belong to Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich, I'm just playing with them.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sookie was enjoying her third slice of Pino's pizza, her feet tucked under her on Ranger's oh-so-supple leather sectional when Lester poked his head in the door.

"Are you ready to go?"

Sookie stared at Lester. He smiled and dimples appeared in his cheeks. _Because I'd love to take you. _ He walked through the door and folded his arms in front of his chest.

Ranger stood up from the arm chair he sat in and scowled at Lester. "We'll be down in 10."

Lester nodded at Ranger and leaned on the side table, crossing one foot over the other.

"That will be all." Ranger said flatly.

_No fun at all…_Lester thought and turned and left the apartment.

Sookie stared after him. She had tried to ask a few prying questions without coming out and asking anything obvious but had only learned that he was part Cuban, a distant relative of Ranger's, and that (according to him) although many members of his family were attractive, none were as charming.

oooooooooo

Ten minutes later Sookie stood gaping at the army of men in black assembled in the garage ready to escort them out of the building. Most were focused on their role and who they should protect, but many had questions about who the team would be meeting up with and why Ranger had told them to keep their riot goggles on and keep their distance.

By seven p.m. they were sitting on an abandoned stretch of road a few miles outside of Trenton, their vehicles forming a slight semi-circle behind them. Most of the men in black were on the opposite side of the vehicles, weapons drawn and ready.

"Is that really necessary? They're not going to like having so many people around." Sookie said, gesturing towards the men.

"Yes. It is necessary." Ranger replied.

"But…"

"They're only there for our protection. They know not to fire without cause." Ranger wordlessly handed Sookie a phone. She scowled, sighed, and then dialed Bill's number.

"Hello?" a deep, familiar voice resonated through the phone.

"Bill, it's me."

"You are safe?"

"Yes, they've been great hosts."

"Where are you Sookie? I shall come."

"Are you with Eric?"

"Yes, he is now with me. Tell me where you are. We will both come."

"I'm going to hand the phone to Ranger. He'll let you know where we are." She handed the phone over.

Ranger took the phone and hit the speaker button. "Do you have a car?"

"Yes, I have a vehicle." Bill replied.

"Lamberton Road, 150 feet south of Route 129. South side of the road at a loading ramp near the river," Ranger said, his voice sounding like he was giving orders more than directions.

"We will be there shortly. You will protect Sookie until we arrive."

"Yes." Ranger replied then ended the phone call.

Sookie put her hands on her hips, "Did you just hang up that phone without saying anything even a lick like 'goodbye'?" She turned to Steph, "Where I'm from men have been shot for less. We value our manners."

Steph smiled, nodded, and smacked Ranger playfully on the arm. "See?"

"It was unnecessary." Ranger said, a little on the soft side.

Sookie leaned in, her hands still on her hips, ready to teach a lesson. "Most manners are unnecessary. Shows you care for and respect a person when you do unnecessary things for them."

The corners of Ranger's mouth turned up slightly. "I have other ways I like to show I care."

"Don't mean you can't do both."

Ranger paused, looked at the expressions on Sookie and Stephanie's faces and turned towards Tank. "You have the reports ready?"

Tank nodded. "Good to go." He handed Ranger three manila folders.

"Goggles on. In the driver's seat. Vehicle one."

Tank nodded, put on a pair of oversized goggles and moved to the SUV at the front of the line.

Steph had been silently taking in everything happening but her brain had been full of a million questions. "Ranger what's with all the firepower and the goggles? Didn't Sookie say these guys are on our side?"

"They're vampires. I don't trust them."

"Okay, but if they're vampires and are like super strong and immortal how are the guns and goggles going to help?"

"Vampires can do a thing with their eyes like hypnotism. The goggles create a disruption that protects the wearer from its influence."

"Woah, that's crazy, why haven't I ever heard of that?"

Ranger shrugged, "They have very good PR agents."

"I'd think the goggle manufactures would let people know."

"They're government issue only Babe."

"Of course." Steph rolled her eyes then paused, "They say hypnotism really just lowers inhibitions though, I don't see how it would affect your men."

"I said it's _like_ hypnotism. It's much more powerful."

"So they could like, wipe your mind of having been bitten or whatever and you wouldn't even know?"

Ranger looked at Sookie quickly then stared at Stephanie for a moment. He shook his head slowly and tucked a curl behind her ear. "No, you wouldn't even know."

"Crazy… but what about the guns? Are they special _vampire_ guns?"

"The guns have silver bullets in them. A single bullet might not take them down but a vampire will be slowed by them and enough silver can incapacitate or kill them."

Steph was still staring at all the guns around them when the rumble of a car pulling off the main road was heard and headlights swept past them.

A sleek, silver European sports car slid to a stop in front of them. A tall blond wearing a track suit unfolded himself from the driver's seat and was instantly standing at Sookie's left side. A dark haired man in a jacket and cravat followed with the same speed, positioning himself to her right.

_Holy crap. How did they move so fast? They were just at the car._

"Eric…Bill." Sookie said, nodding to each of the men, then gesturing to the man in front of them, "This is Carlos Manoso, or Ranger."

The three men stared at each other none of them moving a muscle. Finally Eric looked Ranger up and down and said, "I still do not like the smell of you."

Steph rolled her eyes. _Apparently none of them have manners…or taste, Ranger smells like Bulgari shower gel and manly goodness._

"And this is my friend, Stephanie Plum."

Bill extended his hand and took Stephanie's in a polite handshake. "Ms. Plum, it is a pleasure. My name is Bill Compton," he said, his voice low and southern accent pronounced.

"Nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you."

Eric extended his hand and took Steph's, "Ms. Plum, I'm sure you've heard about me as well. Most of it is probably greatly exaggerated, unless it is about the many things I would do to Sookie if she would just renounce this one and become mine."

A small hiss escaped Bill's mouth and Steph jumped back into Ranger's arms looking with fear at the extended fangs in Bill's mouth. She heard a gun safety clicking unlocked somewhere behind them.

Sookie took a step towards Steph and away from Eric and Bill. "Y'all just don't get it. I left town. I drove across the country for a reason. I was gone for a year of time here and when I get back _you_…" she poked Bill in the chest. "Have moved on and for all I know have a harem of women in your bed… And _you…"_ she pointed up at Eric's smirking face, "You bought my house and thought I came with it." Sookie threw both hands up in the air. "And when I say I've had enough and leave town you can't just let me be and have to follow me all the way to New Jersey?'

Eric's face was stony. "Considering the trouble you find yourself in perhaps the choice was wise." He lifted his eyebrows and stared at her, his eyes fixed on hers. She rolled her eyes and scowled back.

Eric turned to Ranger, as if nothing had happened. "You have information on who kidnapped Sookie?"

"Yes." Ranger replied. "We have background information and possible locations for 4 humans involved. There is no evidence that we could gather on what vampire might have orchestrated this but I worked with a sketch artist today to generate an image." He handed Eric the first of the three folders.

Eric opened the folder and glanced over the images. He handed the folder to Bill.

"I do not recognize him." Bill said, holding the folder out to Ranger.

"Nor I." added Eric.

"Keep the images; I assume you can ask around in places that I can't?"

Bill withdrew the extended folder. "We can, though we are not as familiar with the area and our positions in Louisiana have less meaning in this territory. Vampires are not the most trusting creatures. It will be harder to extract information."

"Also we are hoping to bring in a few of the human perpetrators tonight at a bar several of them are known to frequent. Perhaps you would assist in 'extracting information'?" Ranger said, handing the second folder to Eric.

Eric had just grabbed the folder when the sound of a car turning off the main road drew their attention. Before she knew it Sookie found Eric's arms wrapped around her and Stephanie picking them both up effortlessly and pulling them beyond the row of SUV's and toward the river. Gunshots began making pinging noises as they struck the vehicles and Sookie could see a large pick-up had pulled up behind Eric's car and gunshots were exploding from both the driver's and passenger windows.

Sookie sensed Stephanie struggling beside her and screaming Ranger's name, but her voice was drown out in the gunfire. Eric set them both down at water's edge and pulled them down into a crouching position.

Stephanie immediately shot up, running back towards the shootout now occurring between Ranger's men and the pick-up.

Sookie struggled briefly, Eric's grip tight on her arm. "You have to get her."

"No. I do not have to do anything of the sort. I have to stay here and make sure you are safe."

Sookie tried to stand but found her shoulder held solidly by Eric. She punched Eric's solid chest. "Let me go."

"No."

"Eric, let me…" Sookie began, but then saw in a flash of headlights Stephanie's curls silhouetted as she ran beside Ranger toward the water. Suddenly Sookie realized the reason for the quick pace of the two as the pickup truck emerged, crashing through the trees just behind the running pair, its engine racing.

Eric grabbed Sookie and shoved her in the water, grabbing her around one shoulder and taking several powerful strokes with his other hand that pulled them far out into the icy river water. She saw Steph's curly hair not far away.

_Oh my god it's so cold. Please God let them give up quickly, I don't want to freeze to death in this river. Or drown. Drowning might be worse…God I don't want to drown. Or be shot. Or be shot and then drown. I usually feel cold when I'm shot. Maybe I'm already shot and can't tell because the water is so cold. Crap, I'm probably already dying. Crap. Crap. Crap. No, wait, Ranger won't let me drown, right, and… crap, where's Ranger?_

Sookie tugged her shoulder away from Eric. "We have to get Steph," she whispered, the pins and needles already shooting pain through her arms and legs.

"It's more important to keep you safe."

"Well this water is freezing and you can't provide me with warmth, so at the very least she and I could warm each other so we don't freeze to death or lose all of our toes."

"I can provide you with blood."

"I don't want your blood. Please, let me get Steph…"

Eric turned and took a few long strokes and gathered Steph and Sookie together.

Steph struggled against Eric's grip, "No, I need to find Ranger." She cried.

Sookie looked at the riverbank and saw the pickup still idling. Its headlights skimmed the water but she could not see any other heads above the water. They had already been in the water several minutes. Maybe Ranger had cramped up from the cold water and gone under, or maybe he had swum further downstream.

A very long minute later the headlights from the truck swung around and the truck disappeared back into the trees. Sookie's eyes took a minute to adjust to the light.

"There, near the water's edge." Eric said, beginning to drag the women back towards the shore.

"What? What do you see?" Stephanie's frightened voice replied.

"I believe it is Ranger." Eric stated coolly.

As they approached the shore Sookie could see Ranger's face looking out over the water. He had stripped off his jacket and vest and his t-shirt and cargos clung to his body tightly. Sookie's eyes widened slightly at just how muscular he was. Sookie could see relief wash over Ranger's face even in the dim moonlight as he caught sight of Stephanie's curly head bobbing towards shore. He waded out the last few feet and gathered Steph into his arms pulling her body against his as he ran his hands up and down her arms. As Eric and Sookie emerged and Sookie shivered her way up the shore she saw Ranger pull a phone out of one of the pockets in his cargo pants.

"Tank, we're at the river, bring blankets." He said and shut the phone. He made a gesture for Sookie to come closer and pulled her in close beside Steph.

"Sookie I can give you…" Eric said, stepping closer.

"No Eric, I don't want that. You know I don't." She looked at him seriously. His eyes were pleading and his wide shoulders and tall, muscular form looked even more angular as the weight of the wet track suit pulled itself over his body. He reached out a hand and rubbed it up and down her neck.

There was silence for a moment with only the sound of the river lapping at the bank behind them.

"Your phone still works after being in the freezing water?" Steph said through shivering teeth. _That is so not fair._

"Babe." _I'm always prepared. I care about you too much not to be._

Sookie smiled, _it might be nice if you said it out loud._

Sookie felt Ranger's arm tense slightly as it held Steph and her secure. Ranger looked up from gazing in Steph's eyes to stare at Sookie for a moment.

Sookie heard pebbles shifting and felt Eric's hand freeze on her shoulder. She looked to see Eric staring past her at Ranger.

"You…." Eric said, suddenly smiling and looking Ranger in the eye. "You smell different now…. You smell… _delicious_…" Eric's fang's extended and his head fell back as he took a deep breath.

Sookie gasped as the pieces connected in her mind. _Are you…?_ Sookie's thought was cut short when she saw Eric suddenly move over Ranger's shoulder, his mouth just above Ranger's neck.

"No Eric!" She shouted but was cut short as two gunshots sounded from the treeline.

A flash of pain crossed Eric's face as he fell to the ground.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

a/n It is crazy hard to juggle a huge cast of characters. I kept writing conversations then realizing things like "Hey wait, Steph hasn't spoken through this whole thing... that's very unlike her," and then having to go back and restructure the whole thing. "Wait, Bill is there, he needs to say something."

Then there is the complication of so many mindreaders... So Sookie can hear Steph's thoughts and any human around her except for Ranger, Eric _might_ be able to hear some human thoughts and Ranger can/might be able to... well... Crap, this is hard.

Is it really bad that, while Steph was worried about Ranger, Sookie never gave a second thought about Bill in the whole running away scene? I figure she's used to her guys getting out of most scrapes on their own and...well, she had Eric and enough going on to distract her.

You have no idea how long I've been wanting to get Ranger all wet and what I went through to make it happen! *evil grin* I even pulled up a google map to make sure I could find a location near water for the meet.

*Please leave comments, I had the best, happiest post-work surprise last week when I checked my email and had a slew of comments. I'm never sure that I can move on and then I get all of your positive words and encouragement and feel totally validated (a thing that has unfortunately been lacking in my work-life this year)*


End file.
